A few friends and I rented a car and drove out to the Grampians mountain range to camp for a night last weekend. The weather was awful, mostly rainy, lots of clouds. Dark days and dark feelings, but we had such good chemistry we all managed to keep spirits up.
But the general mood was almost like mourning. For most of us, we're leaving behind short term friendships that in the long term mean little compared to those we cultivated throughout our lives. But they were furious and close friendships fueled by the excitement of the unfamiliar. We've all become comfortable in our situations here, and it's time to drop it and leave. We talked about everyone, and everything. About Australia, and Home. We sat around a campfire with a nice couple from Melboure camping for the long weekend, and talked about how friendships are like a web. I guess networking sites are also a good analogy. Now we all know people from around the world. More than likely that will affect our futures.
It's a difficult mood to live in though. I'm finding it hard to stay anywhere very long, because every conversation starts with "when are you leaving?" and ends with "If I never see you again..." Handshakes, hugs, and kisses aside, it's not easy saying goodbye to everyone all the time. I don't want to leave so soon, but it's time to move on, and I do want to get out of this ugly feeling. I guess we can all just try and look at it from a positive light, focus on the good things we've shared, and forget about good bye's.
I'm infamous for disappearing without a word, I think I'll slip out quietly when it's my turn to go. If there's something someone needed to say, there's always facebook.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Friday, June 5, 2009
Good-Bye May
The month of May has been fleeting indeed! I wrote myself a note three weeks ago that my blog entry for that week was already overdue, and here it still sits on my desk, reminding me. Much like most of my assignments, I'll have a lot to catch up on at the last second. I guess the date posted along with this gives me a way so I may as well be honest. I've settled into a routine, and it has good and bad sides.
I feel comfortable living in Australia. I retain an American accent by no fault of my own, people love it why would I give it up! I feel almost at home, but I know too well what I've left behind. I have a strong sense of Australian culture, its history, and its people. I can get myself around, easily make informed decisions, and get what I need. The routine is comfortable becuase it help releive that sense of pressure to actively drain every ounce of enjoyment from every second of the day. I can passively enjoy my time here, and it's a bit more relaxing. But I feel almost as if I'm dying.
We all have our "bucket list" of things to do before we leave Australia. Some are more adventurous than others. I ruled out travel becuase of budget restrictions, but there is still fun to be had. I have one paper left to write, on Australian history, and I'm headed out to the Grampians Range to backpack for a few days. It should be beautiful, albeit cold. Not to worry, I'm well prepared and the "mountains" here hardly compare to the Whites at home. Fun Fact: not all compasses are international, and those that are tend to be very expensive! Either that or I've been had by some clever camping store clerks.
May was a good month over all, lots of celebration amongst friends, now that we all know everyone. We visited our roommate's farm in the outback, or the "bush." He doesn't think it's out in the bush, but his small farm here has approx. 600 cows, and probably near 1000 acres, so yeah we were in the bush.
I'm beginning to dread my return home, still questioning weather I will retain what I've discovered about myself so boldly, or change slowly and subtly under the influence of the friends I left behind. I have a new neice to go home to, and every time I see an animal I miss my dog fiercely! (Mom you better bring him to the airport when you pick me up!). It's all mixed in with a bit of curiosity. Just like we got the sermons on arrival about the effects of culture shock, now we get lectures on reverse culture shock. I've been comparing the States to Australia since I got here, so that's not a bother. However, I'll miss what I had here, and returning to hard work will be a tremendous disappointment. Hopefully I'll feel a little better when I've accomplished something tangible.
I feel comfortable living in Australia. I retain an American accent by no fault of my own, people love it why would I give it up! I feel almost at home, but I know too well what I've left behind. I have a strong sense of Australian culture, its history, and its people. I can get myself around, easily make informed decisions, and get what I need. The routine is comfortable becuase it help releive that sense of pressure to actively drain every ounce of enjoyment from every second of the day. I can passively enjoy my time here, and it's a bit more relaxing. But I feel almost as if I'm dying.
We all have our "bucket list" of things to do before we leave Australia. Some are more adventurous than others. I ruled out travel becuase of budget restrictions, but there is still fun to be had. I have one paper left to write, on Australian history, and I'm headed out to the Grampians Range to backpack for a few days. It should be beautiful, albeit cold. Not to worry, I'm well prepared and the "mountains" here hardly compare to the Whites at home. Fun Fact: not all compasses are international, and those that are tend to be very expensive! Either that or I've been had by some clever camping store clerks.
May was a good month over all, lots of celebration amongst friends, now that we all know everyone. We visited our roommate's farm in the outback, or the "bush." He doesn't think it's out in the bush, but his small farm here has approx. 600 cows, and probably near 1000 acres, so yeah we were in the bush.
I'm beginning to dread my return home, still questioning weather I will retain what I've discovered about myself so boldly, or change slowly and subtly under the influence of the friends I left behind. I have a new neice to go home to, and every time I see an animal I miss my dog fiercely! (Mom you better bring him to the airport when you pick me up!). It's all mixed in with a bit of curiosity. Just like we got the sermons on arrival about the effects of culture shock, now we get lectures on reverse culture shock. I've been comparing the States to Australia since I got here, so that's not a bother. However, I'll miss what I had here, and returning to hard work will be a tremendous disappointment. Hopefully I'll feel a little better when I've accomplished something tangible.
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